Allison, my darling!!
Before I decided to write these few words, my little chip, I have to confess, i hesitated a lot. You know, the history of our family is a bit difficult. When we begin to evoke it, it is difficult to avoid certain memories buried for a long time to rise to the surface!! Yet, there is nothing dramatic to the point of concealing things, of course not!! It’s just what I, your grandmother, has experienced, felt, that’s all. It’s a part of my story so a little bit like your dad’s and therefore a little bit of yours. Basically, here …
About fifteen days after your birth, we landed at JFK. When I say we, it’s Jean Luc and I, we’re going to say, your second grandfather, my husband. Your daddy came to greet us at the airport after a good flight time. It was four years since I had taken him in my arms. You realize, 4 years. For a mom it’s unimaginable and yet !!! You can easily understand my joy, huge feeling, and also a little fear!!!
In fact, this new meeting went without any pitfalls!! It is true that we both stayed on our reserve, like shy people!! As well-behaved people can be too and who just show nothing. The modesty, the fear of showing our feelings, our weaknesses … It is stupid, it is true but, in any case, this is how this meeting happened.
Time spent, distance ….. 4 years is long ….
After conquering traffic jams, we finally reached your parents’ apartment in Manhattan. You were not there, you were already in Poughkeepsie with your mom, waiting for us. After a night of sleep, short because of the jet lag and an excellent coffee accompanied by hot croissants cooked by your dad, we left, Jean Luc and I to storm the shops in order to make purchases. It was beautiful, we were in NYC and we were feeling good, very good!! Two kids walking the street. Shopping, restaurants, the day was perfect, tiring but no matter … we were in New York!! We really loved that moment!!!
At the end of the day and after his work, as agreed, your dad got us back and we took the road to you two, to you Addison and to Tracy your mother. The road seemed to me long and during this journey, although fed by conversations, I kept thinking about the two of you, Tracy and you, that I was about to meet for the first time. I have made this journey ten thousand times in my head, which would lead me to you, but there it was at the end of this road, interminable. Finally, we arrived at your house. I was eager to discover you and your mother. We got off the car. It’s your mom that I saw first because she opened the door… Of course I recognized her!!! I saw her through Skype, but never in real life. She was there, the exact same, smiling, charming, a little embarrassed by the situation, like me as well. It’s normal, we wanted to make a good impression on each other. After the usual greetings, we took the stairs and I came closer to you. Now, it was you I was going to meet, for the first time!! This first time, I did not want to miss any details. I wanted to print it and never forget it. So it was very, very important. There will never be another opportunity to do a first time!!!
So, of course, the stress rose, rose … Finally, I was there. After a few minutes, I do not really remember who put you in my arms if it was your dad or your mom, but you were there ..,. I immediately fell under your spell. You, very small, so fragile in my arms!!! I lived intensely this moment of great happiness. I could touch you, kiss you. I had hoped so much and waited for that moment, I could not turn my gaze away from your face. As you looked like your dad at that age, this was disturbing. At that time, I was very much shocked. Indeed, you were the portrait of your dad at the same age. A great confusion has seized me. My past and not necessarily the best at the best moment, has returned to my face, like a boomerang!! Joy of course, obviously, many, before such a small being, and also a deep Sadness because 45 years earlier, the same gestures, the first contact with my baby, your dad had been so difficult for me. I dreamed again that moment. This moment was also accentuated by your incredible resemblance to your father, my son. At the birth of your papa, all things have not been simple, obvious, in the family, and I still have some sequels that the time gradually, smooth. Nevertheless, one forgets nothing and a face, a situation can make certain things reappear. That’s what happened there!!
Despite this episode of my life, let’s say it clearly, difficult, never forgot, You see Addison, I lived well, very well lived. I have traveled a part of the globe, I met many people, different, exciting, whom I loved and who loved me and today I am rich of all that. So I’m not gonna cry over the past, no, but I’ll tell you that I have not forgotten them and that I will never forget. You, by your coming into our family, made them reappeared as if by magic, but you also made sure to iron out the heavy, negative resentments that bring nothing. Since your birth, I also have the joy and the happiness to find your dad smiling, available. I was also lucky to have met your mom!! Your mother is for you, the most perfect of mothers. Watchful, loving, she watches every gesture and every moment of your life!! You could not have dream better and it reassures me. With me, she was generous, considerate. I have, since my return to France, a multitude of photos of you and videos she sends.
I am a very pleased grandmother. I can see you in beautiful little dresses and outfits in different moments of your life away from me. It delights me and at the same time it hurts to know you so far away from me. In conclusion, I would say that your birth has made exploded, in its best sense, the family bond for the happiness of all!! I am very happy and very proud to be your grandmother, you make me young again, Hush, I was told, and it is very pleasant and what a wonderful feeling. I hope that your life will be most rewarding, wonderful, sweet and that we will have the opportunity in the future to share many things.
To see each other very quickly my baby that I love !!
Your grandmother who thinks of you every day
Becoming Addison 